Gentleness Is Not For Weenies

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This week's fruit of the Spirit that I'm studying has been "gentleness". As I was getting ready to open the workbook, and imagining how Beth Moore might approach this fruit, I was feeling a little relieved. I mean, week after week, she keeps teaching things that convict me. I don't THINK she's been trying to discourage me! In fact, just the opposite! I think she has been trying to give me an opportunity to better understand each of the qualities that these verses mention: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. And personally, I've been dreading self-control in the back of my mind for the whole study, because I'm pretty sure I'm not such a paragon of self-control. But to paraphrase Scarlett O'Hara, another woman lacking in self-control, I'll think about that one tomorrow.



Anyway, this week, as I was approaching the fruit of "gentleness", I was thinking, well, I don't think I'm totally devoid of gentleness. Maybe I'll get off easy this week!

I think what surprised me about her teaching on this fruit of the Spirit was that she wasn't talking about being all nicey-nicey. Because, sometimes, I think here in the mid-South, our concept of being a Christian is to be nicer than Jesus. Honestly, when newcomers visit our city, they walk away talking about how NICE everybody is. And it's true! People really ARE nice around here. So, if you are a believer in Jesus living in this culture, you really have to GO some to be nicer than your average bear around here! But, surprisingly to me, Beth Moore did NOT teach that the quality of gentleness meant "niceness".

Gentleness, which is translated as "meekness" in some versions, actually receives this definition from The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament: it says that gentleness refers to "an inward grace of the soul, calmness toward God in particular. It is the acceptance of God's dealings with us considering them as good in that they enhance the closeness of our relationship with Him."

In other words, gentleness can be defined as ceasing to fight God.

Oh, and there's another word that can be used to help define gentleness that is near and dear to all our hearts (NOT). and that word is "submission".

It's a willingness to be on one's face on the ground in worship and say with Job: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."

Or to pray as Jesus prayed in the garden: "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

Well, I don't know about you, but this really TICKS ME OFF!!!

OK, I'm mostly kidding, but the trouble is: I want what I want, when I want it, and the way that I want it, and please, don't get in my way, and it would REALLY help if God would get on board with MY excellent ideas.





Can you relate?

Obviously, I have some growing to do in the area of living a surrendered life.

When it comes down to it, my practical side realizes, "What choice do I have?" I mean, after all, my arms are too short to box with God. But oh, from time to time, how I do give it my best shot!

But I want to grow in gentleness. I want to quit constantly fighting God on the good qualities He would love to have permission to form in my character. I want to gain from the pain, do you know what I mean? Because while I don't believe that He causes bad things to happen simply because I need the personal growth and development, I do believe that He has beautiful, redemptive work that He wants to do in me, and ultimately, through me. But if I keep fighting Him on things, it's going to be a slower process, and that's for sure.

And I don't want to just "say the words" that indicate submission to Him. I want to MEAN IT, on the inside. To trust Him enough to surrender to His will for my life, and to know that whatever comes, He can use the worst of it in beautiful ways, if I'll just cling to Him in the process.

Beth Moore said that wherever we find our anger bubbling up in ways that are disproportionate to the situation at hand, that it comes from wounds that we are carrying around in our spirits, wounds that we have not allowed our dear Abba to bind up, so that they can heal. If you touch an open wound it HURTS! And we bleed all over the people who have touched it. But if we spend time alone with Him, and pour out our hearts and our hurts to Him, and allow Him to clean out the wound, and bind it up, then a scar can form. And it doesn't hurt to touch a scar. But the scar will allow us to show the healed place to others (just as Jesus showed His scars to Thomas), to give others suffering from a similar wound, hope.

So, anyway, I find myself to be desperately in need of a little gentleness in my life. Because I want every good thing my Father has for me on the other side of submitting to Him.

How about you?

Walking....But Not By Sight.

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We have an issue here at our house that is causing us (me) problems.

We (surprise, surprise) live in the Boonies. We have an electric fence that our dogs have been trained to stay inside. The fence wire (which is an underground wire) has broken somewhere along the 5 acre perimeter. In fact, it's been broken for several months, and we don't have the money to hire the guy to come out and fix it. And Deacon D. Dawg, the white Labrador, has just figured out in the last week that he can get out of our yard, and go on field trips late at night. He has also taken to studiously ignoring us when it's time to come back in after doing his nightly business. (And no, there's nothing wrong with his hearing. His nose and innate stubbornness are just trumping any desire he might have once had to obey us.) And I am unwilling to wade out into the chiggers and the ticks and the poison ivy that are also known as our yard, in the pitch black of night, to go get him and drag him back into the house.

He is also scared to death of the flies and wasps that are flying outside our home in the heat of the day. He doesn't WANT to be walked during the daytime. He tucks his tail and lies down as flat as he can on the kitchen floor when we put his collar and leash on him to walk him in the daytime. As in, "Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please don't make me go on walkies where those mean old wasps and bees might get me!!!!"

We live in the woods. About a mile down the road, it dead ends, so at night, about the only traffic on our road is people coming home from a party or from working late shift. No street lights. Very few houses. Consequently, it is black at night. Blacker than black. As in, I can't see a stinking thing but some twinkly stars, half a jillion fireflies, and the occasional flash of heat lightning that is typical of hot humid Southern nights.

And now, we get to the "have you lost your ever loving mind???" part of this post.

So, for the last three nights in a row, I have been walking Deakie Boy in the pitch black of night. With no flashlight. I like to think of it as a faith walk. Because, I tell you, I am REALLY walking by faith and not by sight. It started as a fluke. I was just going to walk him to the end of the driveway and back. As I was heading out the door, I thought, well, the last time I walked a dog, I really messed up my knee, so maybe I'll take the phone along with me, so that my dear husband can rescue me if I, like the woman in the commercial, find that, "I've fallen, and I can't get up." But then, as I stepped out the door, I thought, "I haven't heard from my friend Chloe in quite a while. I think I'll give her a call." And there she was, home, and ready to chat, and we got to talking, and I got to the end of my driveway, and I thought, "Well, my knee can go a little farther." And it's amazing how talking with your friend heart to heart is so refreshing, and GOOD for your soul. It's great medicine. So, I told Chloe that I was taking my life in my hands, walking along in the pitch black of night, and I said, "If you hear me scream, hang up on me and call the house phone and tell the Big Bison to go outside and scrape me up off the pavement. It's OK. I won't be mad if you hang up on me if you call to get help!"

I have new respect for the visually impaired. I mean it. I do. Walking along when you can barely see your hand in front of your face is kind of a daring, crazy thing to do. Outside the natural for me, for sure.

So, anyway, to tie all this in with the verses I've been studying on the fruit of the Spirit, faithfulness is the next quality that I have been thinking about. And this foolhardy thing that I've been doing - (walking without a flashlight - because how else can I hold the leash AND my cell phone, otherwise??? And stop telling the computer screen it should use a head lamp, smartiepants!)- is sort of like what it is like when the believer tries to live his or her life in accordance what their faith tells them to be true, rather than what their circumstances are screaming at them to do.

Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. And I will tell you quite frankly that I struggle with talking to the invisible God. (Not that I'd do much better talking to an idol - that would be WORSE!) But I start praying and I find myself being figuratively poked and prodded by a very real enemy who wants nothing more than to fill me with doubts in regard to prayer. Ephesians 6 talks about the fiery darts of the enemy, and honestly, that is exactly what I am experiencing when I approach prayer: the last thing the enemy wants is for me to have communion with my Abba. So he launches an attack on my mind. What is it that Paul says will extinguish the fiery darts of the evil one? It's our faith! It's choosing to believe that we have a God that is more real than the very skin we walk around in, more real than anything we can see or touch. We have a God who has revealed to us His character, and He Himself IS the very definition of faithful. So, if we base our faith on HIM, and on His Son, who demonstrated that same character when He lived and walked among us, we find ourselves shielded, both behind and before, by THEIR faithfulness. Their faithfulness is our shield: get the picture?

And, if the fruit of the Holy Spirit is faithfulness, that means that a result of having the Spirit of the Living God living inside of me, is that I have all His faithfulness living inside of me as well. Which makes me one great big faith sandwich: shielded by his faith, with faith in the middle as well. And let me tell you friends, He is faithful. His character is certain, He is true, and He is enduring. Therefore, I can be dependable, trustworthy, and persistent, because His Spirit, his character is being worked in me, from the inside out.

Hebrews 11 describes men and women whose lives demonstrated great faith, and among them was a man named Enoch, who lived one of the most famous faith walks of all time. Verses 5 and 6 of that chapter tell us that Enoch was taken from this life, that he did not experience death, and that he was commended as one who pleased God. The account of Enoch's life in the book of Genesis is oh, so brief, and frankly, to me, quite tantalizing. We are told so little, and yet what we do know is that Enoch lived a life of extraordinary faith. Genesis 5:18-24 tells us that Enoch walked with God, for 365 years, and then he was no more, because God took him away. So putting those two portions of scripture together we can see that this faith walk that Enoch took with God on a daily basis pleased God. Revelation 4:11 says "Thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." We were created to bring pleasure to God, and that is exactly what Enoch did. And how did he please God? By walking with God.

It's choosing to walk with God, for the pleasure of His company, that brings joy to the Father's heart.

So, I'm not necessarily recommending that everybody go take a walk in the black of night, because that would be foolish. In fact, I admit that I'm just asking for trouble, by doing that. But I do recommend taking a walk with the Father, sharing your heart with Him, and allowing His faithfulness to be your shield and protection.

Ol' Blue Eyes Kinda Knew What He Was Talkin' About

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Anybody remember tho old song Frank Sinatra did called "Love and Marriage"?

In case you don't, but would like to listen to it, here is a link, with some sweet little eye candy thrown in for good measure: clips of Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman from the movie, "Indiscreet".

And, if you're not in the mood for listening, I'll just refresh your memory on a portion of the lyrics:

"Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like the horse and carriage
Dad was told by mother
You can't have one without the other!"

This song came to mind this morning, believe it or not, as I was thinking about the fruit of the Spirit.

No, seriously.

Because I have gotten to this place in my study of the list from Galatians 5:22-23:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

I have been thinking about kindness, and goodness, and the dreadfulness of my own shortcomings in possessing these qualities in my life. And just so I don't add dishonesty to the list of my shortcomings, I want to be clear that the thoughts I am sharing today were triggered not, predominately, by my own brilliance and deep spirituality (insert rolling of the eyes here), but from a study I am participating in entitled "Living Beyond Yourself" that was written by Beth Moore. So, thoughts picked up from participating in this study will be talked about here, and if you want to read the really good stuff, you should go buy her book, and participate in this study yourself.

OK. Disclaimer over. Back to thinking about kindness and goodness.

Beth said that the word Paul uses in Greek for the word kindness is chrestotes which means a tender concern for others. It is the "genuine desire of the believer to treat others gently, just as the Lord treats him."

I think that, at times, I display this fruit in my life, but would somebody tell me please, for crying out loud, how it can be that the people I live with are so often the ones who get the short end of the kindness stick from me? Here's a little snapshot of my life, that will help you catch a glimpse of the walking, talking contradiction that is me. In this picture, I am sitting in the room with my kids, who are each working on their least favorite, most difficult subjects for their schoolwork. They are both frustrated, they are both irritated, and, frankly, their attitudes stink. I am seated in the same room with them, hoping that my physical presence will help them stay on task, and am attempting to work on my OWN Bible study on kindness. And before the morning is over, I am ready to KILL both of them for their stinky attitudes toward me, toward each other, and toward their work. Somehow, I feel, as I return once again (after my 877th interruption) to carry on with my Bible study on "kindness", that I may have missed the point somewhere..

But enough about me.

Let's talk about the kindness of God, who despite ALL OUR stinky attitudes, praise His name, does NOT treat us as our sins deserve! Let's think about HIM for a moment, shall we?

Psalm 103:8-14 says:

The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.

9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.


And that is the kindness of God, toward us: He DOESN'T treat us as our sins deserve. And if I am to display His character in my life, that is how I am to behave toward my children, and toward all those folks who irritate me no end.

Jesus was kind. He was kind to brokenhearted Mary Magdalene, who stood weeping and wailing at his tomb, mourning the loss of the One who had healed her of being possessed by seven demons, grieving the Rabbi she had followed and Whose needs she had cared for. He was kind to the children who were brought to Him that He might lay his hands on them and bless them. He was kind to Thomas, who doubted His resurrection, making a special point to allow Thomas just what he needed to help him believe.

Kind to the brokenhearted one, kind to those who are insignificant by the world's estimation, kind to the doubter: this is the character of Jesus. This is the character that I long to see displayed in my own life. But it's beyond me. It's simply beyond me. Which is the point, of course. That it takes the divine assistance of the indwelling Holy Spirit for His character to be reproduced in me.

So, let's move on from the fruit of "kindness" to the fruit of "goodness", the Greek word for which is "agathosune". Apparently, it means "benevolent" and "active goodness". So while "kindness" refers to a tender heart, goodness is a more active quality, that involves taking action for the good of others. And here is an aspect to goodness that really took me aback when I first read it. Beth said that goodness "does not spare sharpness and rebuke to cause good in others," and that it may involve rebuke, or correction or even chastisement.

I actually see this on an everyday basis in my life, when people interact on internet forums. Sometimes, people are unaware of a trap that their way of thinking has allowed them to fall into, and they need, for their ultimate good, to receive rebuke, or correction, or a wake-up call. And this can be painful! On the homefront, if all I ever practiced with my kids was "kindness" without "goodness", the chances are great that my kids would remain stuck in sloth and immaturity.

So....acting out of goodness, that is, for the longterm good of the other, may NOT be fun or even pleasant. But it does involve being fixed upon doing what is ultimately for the best of the other person. Beth goes on to say that at times we may be called upon to deliver a painful exhortation or a confrontational rebuke. Sometimes, there will be no gain for the other person, unless they experience some pain, as they realize the error in which they are trapped. But that's where the fruit of the Spirit that is "kindness" comes into play: our words, that will ultimately bring about "goodness" and gain for the other, must be tempered by kindness, for it is the kindness of God that leads any of us to repentance.

And all that brings me full circle to my opening thought, (and I bet you were wondering what ANY of this had to do with that song!) kindness and goodness are a lot like the lyrics to that song, "Love and Marriage". Just like with love and marriage, so it is with kindness and goodness: "You can't have one without the other."