Best Article on How to Unintentionally Improve Klout Score with Influential Topics

Pin It Have you ever wondered how much Klout you have? Those who use Twitter will know exactly what I'm talking about, and if you don't, I'll try to sum this up succinctly, AND tell you a story in which you'll get to laugh at my stupidity, and my vanity, all in one swell foop, as they say.

And for those of you who tweet, and who know about Klout, your payoff will be the smug satisfaction you'll get from knowing "Well, at least I'm not THAT stupid", and hopefully, a chuckle, at my expense.

But in the course of telling my story, I do have a point to make in the midst of entertaining you, and I hope that will become evident.

For the uninformed among us, Twitter is a social media network whereby you can promote whatever you like (your business, your blog, your self, your brand) in short bursts called "tweets" of 140 characters, or less. In each tweet, you answer the question, "What's happening?"  You follow people or businesses you are interested in, and people follow you, and you read each other's tweets on your timeline, the stream of people that you follow.

There is a metric for measuring how influential a person is in social media, called Klout. Each person who participates in social media is assigned a "rating" by Klout, a number between 1-100 that purports to show how much influence a person has.

In theory, one can raise one's Klout score by having other Twitter members assign people who they find influential a "+K" on whatever topic they find that person to be influential on.

I have no topics upon which I am influential, according to Klout. At present in Klout's business model, you are not allowed to suggest topics in regard to yourself, about which you would like to be considered as potentially influential.

Because that would make too much sense.

No topics for YOU, BoonieSooze!

Since my personal Social Media Sherpa, Anne, explained to me a month ago what Klout is, she said: "You've got to start tweeting more on topics that you know a lot about: like food, and homeschooling, and then people can give you +K on your "influential topics"."

Well, Anne's really smart, and let me tell you, in real life, for better or for worse, she is definitely one of my influencers. She has real life clout, in my book.

So...I tried. For the last month. To make pithy remarks on topics I know a little sumpin'-sumpin' about.

No dice.

Klout wasn't buyin'.

I was bummed, but philosophical.

Oh, well.

Then, one fateful night, (and this is the part where I begin to really look like an idiot) I was looking to make conversation with a friend of Anne's on Twitter, someone I had recently begun following. I noticed that she was really enjoying a movie I had just watched with Anne: True Grit.

She mentioned how much she was enjoying the movie, and having just seen it for the first time myself, I was excited that I could interact with her on this topic that she was excited about, and get to know her! So I tweeted back:

"Love that movie! Loved Jeff Bridges in it. Hailee Steinfeld was phenomenal!"

Only she hadn't tweeted that she was watching True Grit.

She tweeted that she was watching True Blood.

She tweeted me back with the "dreaded 'umm'...of dissing". (The DUD)

"Umm...True Blood, not True Grit. Although I was getting momentarily excited looking for Jeff Bridges in True Blood".

Crud. I hate looking like an idiot.

But I laughed about it with her in another small exchange of tweets, and life rolled on.

Or so I thought.

Until a few days later (and this is the part where my embarrassment blossoms like mushrooms after a rainstorm) when another friend called me up and said, "I just gave you +K on True Blood. I had no idea you watch that show. Do you watch that show???"

I laughed, and told her I had no idea it WAS a show. I thought it was some movie, and that I had made a little mistake with it the other night on Twitter.

Her: "I didn't think you watched that show. Its's about vampires, and, well, it's kinda dirty."

Me: "WHAT??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I've been chasing having an "Influential Topic" for a MONTH on Twitter? I've guest hosted on a Homeschooling Mom Community and acted like I know something about homeschooling after doing it for 12 years. I've posted recipe after recipe. Written devotional Bible study readings. AND NOW I'M INFLUENTIAL ON VAMPIRES AND RACY TV SHOWS?????"

If you dare tell me life ain't cramjammed full of irony, I will laugh in your face.

Somehow, I secretly think I deserve the momentary public humiliation, based on my willingness to chase after a vanity metric that means nothing of any importance in terms of what God thinks. Because on God's social media scale, I'm pretty sure that people who alleviate suffering, and who feed the hungry, and clothe the naked, and visit prisons are the actual ones with Klout in the kingdom of God. I'm pretty sure it's those of us who love Him with all our hearts, and then who act in love toward our fellow man are the real movers and shakers among us.

And, in terms of the Klout business practice of whatever algorithm they're using to select topics about which people are influential? Dude.

Your business practice needs tweekage. And I ain't just tweetin' around.

Great big FYI, in case anyone else ever has a similar problem: If you hate the topic of influence that Klout has assigned you, you can hover over it on your Klout homepage, and a little "x" will magically appear, and you can X it out. Lose it! It's a beautiful thing. And you'll need no longer be America's Expert on Vampire TV shows you've never seen or heard of.

P.S. To my readers: I promise not to sacrifice good content in order to get more Search Engine hits. Despite the title of this post. :-D

Uninvited Dinner Guest

Pin It We invited some wonderful friends over for dinner last night.

After they arrived, the Big Bison's hunting buddy asked him if he would show him the fateful spot where my husband was splitting wood the afternoon he had his heart attack. Deacon D. Dawg walked out to the wood pile with them, and, as is his habit, he hauled a great big piece of firewood back to the house in his jaws, just to show off his Mad Retriever Skillz.

Is this boy proud or what? How about them ears???

We think that little walk might have been what stirred up the trouble.

They might have trespassed onto what something else viewed as its territory.

Because, otherwise, there's really no accounting for what happened next.

During their little walk to the woodpile, the other guests arrived, and so everyone came inside, and we did introductions for those who were unacquainted, and we were just about to put the food on the table, when, from behind me, I heard my husband's hunting buddy make a loud, kind of high-ish pitched noise that sounded like this:

"Aaaaaaaaaaaahh!"

Now, this guy's a pretty tough guy, and, in general, not prone to making girly sounding noises, and so I thought, "This must be something significant for him to make a sound like that. I better check it out." And I quickly turned and went to the kitchen door where he was standing, looking outside. And saw this:

The uninvited guest. 

Note the triangular shaped head.

What you may not realize that you're seeing in that picture is the rattle at the end of his tail.

Which he began shaking violently.

The women at the door all shrieked. 

SnakyBoy stared us down malevolently.

For five minutes.

The noise of his rattle was so loud, at first, I thought it was cicadas. Till he stopped rattling for a moment. And then resumed. 

We were held hostage.

Did you know it's against the law to kill a snake of any kind in the state of TN?

At this point, the book that comes to mind is that horrific monstrosity by O.J. Simpson, entitled "If I Did It".

So, I'm not going to tell you exactly how my story ended.

Two of our guests are authoring a wild game cookbook, and I will tell you that I did NOT come up with an impromptu recipe last night for rattlesnake. Maybe I missed a serendipitous moment. I don't know.

But I WILL say that my husband is a man among men, a mighty man, whom I love more than I could ever possibly say, and whom I trust to protect me, as we live our Wild Life in the Woods, amongst the wildlife in the woods.

I will also say that it's hard to get two hunting buddies together, present them with an aggressive, fat, 4 foot venomous snake, and not come up with a creative and effective solution for how to handle the problem.

And that, honestly, if you'd been in my kitchen, held hostage, after business hours, would you really have wanted SnakyBoy to wander away from the porch? Because...you know...at some point....you have to get to your car to high tail it outta here.

Date Night with The Big Bison

Pin It No time to post today, because (a) I just finished a huge post over at The Fun Girls with a FANTASTIC RECIPE, that will help your skin look better than ever, (remember, it's skin care week over there) and (b) we're having company tonight, and I've got to poach a wild turkey. (Thinking about what that could mean literally fills my pun-loving heart with glee!) but I had a grand date night last night with my dear husband, The Big Bison. He had backstage passes for us to go to The Grand Old Opry.

In a word, it was: AWESOME!

You sacrifice a bit of sound quality when you sit in the pews onstage, but the vibe of being up close and personal with the performers is totally worth it!

I'll post more on it later, but here's a shot to wet your whistle:

Sitting in our pew!!! HA! Onstage, at the Opry.

Have you ever been to the Opry? Have you ever thought you might like to go? Tell me about it!

Two Giveaways I Thought You Might Want to Enter

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This week over on The Fun Girls, we're talking about skin care. I'll be doing a post later this week on taking care of your skin from the inside out, complete with a really yummy recipe to help you do just that. I tried it out last night, and it was excellent. Can't wait to share it with you. Today on the Fun Girls, Robin is channeling her inner hippie, and giving her own somewhat "against the conventional flow" perspective on skin Care, and I think many of you will love that.  

Yesterday, Anne did a post with the first giveaway that I wanted to tell you about. She's giving away a tube of of RoC® RETINOL CORREXION® Deep Wrinkle Night Cream. At this moment, I'm really bummed to be one of The Fun Girls 4 co-founders, because that means I really shouldn't enter our own giveaway. But my loss is your gain, because unless you are Anne or Chloe or Robin, you CAN enter the giveaway. (And if you're a guy, you should enter anyway and give it to your wife. Tell her Susan in the Boonies told you to, and she would never steer you wrong. Once she knows you're not dropping hints, she'll thank you.)

Next, if you are one of my most loyal readers, you'll remember I did a post on The Fun Girls a while back about a product I love made by Oil of Olay called the Oil of Olay Pro-X Advanced Cleansing System,  Well, I still love that product, and so do my kids. In fact, even though we each have our own individual facial brush, we share the same gizmo, and I'm tired of carrying it back and forth from their bathroom to mine. So, I'm entering Chloe's giveaway. Because (and here's the second giveaway I thought you'd want to know about) Chloe is giving away one of these facial cleansing gizmos. And I'm entering this one. Just because I can! But because I like to pass along the love to my faithful readers, I'm hurting my own odds just a bit by telling you about the giveaway of this gizmo over on her blog. Head on over to The Chloe Chronicles, and I'll try not to feel too jealous if you win, and I don't.

It's the Relationship, Stupid!

Pin It  This summer I've been reading the gospel of Luke. Recently, I came upon this passage, in Luke Chapter 5. I thought I'd show you the actual text, first, and then, try to put it into more 21st century vernacular. 


 ¹ One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God.² He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. ³ He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

 ⁴ When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”

 ⁵ Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

 ⁶ When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. ⁷ So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

 ⁸ When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” ⁹ For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, ¹⁰and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.

   Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” ¹¹ So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

Sea of Galilee/Lake of Gennesaret: It's the same thing! Image by Joel Carillet  from here.

We know the story so well, but honestly, in a way, it's so far removed from the reality that we know, that it's a little bit hard to relate to.  But here's what came to me when I was thinking about it.

Jesus, the rock star of the day, has come down to the lake. A crowd has gathered, just to hear him teach. There's no Twitter; no Facebook. Nevertheless, the word is out that the amazing teacher is in town, and people want to hear Him, because they've never heard anything like Him before.

Meanwhile, standing knee-deep in the lake and stinking of sweat and of fish, an uneducated fisherman named Simon bends, cleaning his fishing nets. He's been up all night long, has caught nothing, and is doubtless discouraged, disappointed, and exhausted. Nevertheless, what's happening here at the lake today is certainly a change from the day in/day out of his existence, and he's intrigued. So, he listens as he works, and he notices the Teacher has a problem. The crowds are pressing in on Him, and He has no good place where He can sit down and teach. 

The Teacher glances Simon's way, and His eyes focus in on Simon. Simon senses something is expected, but thinks, "What. Me?" 

The Teacher points to the boat, and suddenly, Simon understands. He hastens to make His boat available, invites the Teacher in, and for the next little while, Simon listens to the gracious words that fall from this Man's lips, as He teaches the crowd that has gathered to hear Him: words that startle, words that bring light, and understanding, words that mystify, and confound, words that speak of a relationship with the God of Jacob, who might even be called "Abba", words that announce a kingdom, and the forgiveness of sins. 

Simon is so swept away that he forgets his fatigue, focusing in on the Teacher's words. They are unlike anything he has ever heard before.

And then, it's over. The afternoon is dwindling, and apparently, the Teacher wants to do something for the fisherman. 

"Let's go fishing," He invites.

"Oh, Teacher, I don't know...this fishing thing...it's my business, you know. I am a professional. And I've been up all night out there on that lake."

The Teacher continues to hold Simon's gaze, a twinkle of amusement in His expression.

"But...." Simon hesitates, "if YOU say so...,".

The Man is, after all, a rock star. Besides, it'll be fun to tell his fishing buddies how this Rabbi fellow didn't know squat about fishing.

Simon guides his boat out to deeper waters, with the help of the Teacher. The water is still. The atmosphere, expectant. They cast the nets, and suddenly, the water becomes alive all around them, and the nets are in danger of tearing, so full are they of wiggling, squirming, flopping fish.

Simon's eyes bulge. "What the..." he trails off. "We're gonna need HELP!" he hollers, waving frantically to his partners back on shore. "Help! HELP!!!" he calls, and happily, James and John and their companions set out quickly in their boat to help.

Two boats weren't enough to drag it all in. The boats were so full of fish they were both in danger of sinking. Who could believe this??? This was certainly something none of them had ever seen before! This fish tale was going to be told and re-told for quite some time around these parts.

And Simon, suddenly, realized that this Man was not just an extraordinary teacher. This Man had looked into his eyes, taken his measure, and singled him out to invest in. This Man knew things that a normal man couldn't know. This Man was not just a man.

Simon fell to his knees, grabbing the Teacher around the knees. "Go away from me, Lord! I'm a sinful man!" he cried.

But the Teacher, full of surprises, replied, "Don't be afraid!"

For what else was Simon, if not afraid? He felt exposed, and rejection is what we fear from exposure. Simon knew he didn't measure up to the rock star Rabbi. Knew he didn't have what it took to hang with the likes of Jesus. What was he? An uneducated fisherman.

"From now on, you will fish for people," said the Teacher.

And just like that, everything changed. Destiny turns on a dime. What he had been, what he possessed, his business? Dismissed. The Teacher had seen him, known him, accepted him, and called him to something greater.

At that moment, Simon didn't really know what he was saying yes to. But saying yes, he was. And so were his friends! For this Man? This Man was like no one else they had ever encountered before.

If I had been on the shore of the Lake of Gennesaret that day, I think I would have missed it. I think I would have missed the most important thing that happened there that day. If asked, I probably would have said it was the teaching. After all, a big crowd had gathered. Everyone was talking about Him! Being famous, and reaching lots of people is important, right? And the teaching was great! With authority! Like no one else! But that was not the main deal.

Was it the miracle? Whoa! That miracle of so many fish that they almost sank two boats? That was pretty great, right? Very flashy! And, it was a sign that Jesus really did have the authority of the Father behind His words. But I don't even think THAT was the main thing.

The main thing that happened that day was that the Teacher took time to invest in a man who looked to be of no account, but in whom Jesus saw a potential, that once realized, would literally change the course of civilization.

Do you remember when Bill Clinton had the banner hanging in his campaign office that read, "It's the Economy, Stupid!" to help himself remember to keep the main issue the main issue?

Jesus knew that investing in those 12 guys that He kept closest to Himself would have the biggest payoff of any way He could spend His time, with the exception  of His relationship with His Abba Father in prayer.

So today, let me ask you: What relationships has God put in your life that He wants you to nurture? Who are the people who are looking to you (despite their sin and failings) to accept them, and love them, and see in them the great person that God has for them to be? Who is pushing you away, all the while they need nothing more than your unconditional love, and your vision of hope for their life?

Let me say this as lovingly as I can: It's the Relationship, Stupid. 

A Picture of Homeschooling

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There are so many stories that this picture tells. Click for a closer look: maybe you'll see them.

This picture tells the story of an immense love shared by a young married couple: a love so deep that the young couple was willing to risk their very happy married-without-children lifestyle, to see what might  happen if they mingled their genes.

This picture tells the story of my parents and my husband's parents, of our aunts and uncles, and their parents: of genetic traits, passed down, on both sides. Of strawberry blondes, and fair skin that burns, of heartmeltingly huge brown eyes, of long lashes that can't be tamed.


It tells the story of a "throw-caution-to-the-wind and you-only-go-round-once-in-this-life" trip to the Emmys in LA by this kid's doting parents, who only brought him back these dumb, (yet somehow uber cool), red and black plaid slip on surfer shoes, purchased on the shores of Huntington Beach; of California culture, invading the mid-South.

It tells the story of a man with a dream to live in the Boonies, where the deer, and the wild turkey play, and a lovely creek that runs through it.

It tells the story of a woman with a dream to try homeschooling her kids, that kept going, for one more year, and one more year, and one more "Oh my gosh, I'm in it for keeps now" year when she discovered the difficulty of entering public school mid-stream at the high school level.

It tells the story of a man who got suckered/kindly agreed to teach Biology to his high school age son, but who actually only ended up doing the experiment/lab part. It tells the story of a Mother who enjoyed teaching Biology more than she thought she would.

It tells the story of the flexibility that homeschoolers have, that others sometimes yearn for.

A picture really is worth a thousand words...

But if you asked my SON for the story on the Biology part of the picture....

you might get a DIFFERENT story.

Let's not spoil our idyllic little tale, though, shall we?

:-D

Great, Easy Grilled Pork Tenderloin with Mojo

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Getting your mojo back can be oh, so delicious, and easy!

It's hot. Dang hot. I need to get my mojo back. But it's too stinkin' hot!!! Can you relate? Can I get an Amen, somebody???

 Here's a recipe for grilled pork tenderloin. With mojo sauce. Specifically designed to help you get your mojo back!

(For those of you who love a good word play, and y'all know I do, the word "mojo" means magic, or uncanny personal power or influence; But, in Spanish, pronounced "mo-ho", it is a Cuban seasoning of garlic, olive oil, and sour (Seville) oranges used as a dip, marinade, or sauce.)

Some of you have a pork tenderloin in the freezer right now that you got on sale and froze, for such a time as this. Am I right?

But for those of you who don't, well, then go pick one up at the store real quick, because this recipe couldn't be easier. Or more delicious!

Get your significant other to grill it for you while you languish inside, sipping something cool. Fix him something cool, while you're at it.

A green salad, some couscous, and you've got dinner. I'm telling you. This could not be easier, and I bet you have nearly all the ingredients in your house right now.

This recipe is from Gourmet, may it rest in peace. They totally know how to cook, so I haven't changed much, I don't think.


Grilled Pork Tenderloin with Mojo Sauce

2 oranges, juiced (you need about 5 T. of juice)

4 or 5 garlic cloves, minced (can you ever have too much garlic?)

3 T. olive oil

1 t. dried oregano, crumbled or 1 T. fresh oregano, chopped

2 pork tenderloins (you know they come 2 to a package, right? Weighing bout 3/4 of a lb., each)



Mojo Sauce

Mash garlic to a paste with 1/2 t. salt, using a mortar and pestle, or by finely chopping and scraping and chopping and scraping (yes, I said that twice, on purpose) garlic with salt sprinkled on top of it, using a large, heavy knife. Whisk garlic paste with orange juice, 2 T. oil, and oregano.

Grilling the Tenderloins

Prepare grill for cooking.

Pat pork tenderloins dry, and rub each tenderloin with 1/2 T. of the remaining oil, 1/2 t. salt, 1/4 t. pepper, and the remaining oregano.

When fire is hot, grill the tenderloins on lightly oiled grill rack, covered with lid, turning once, till pork registers 155º. (You never want to undercook pork...but, conversely overcooked pork can be tough and dry, so the right temperature is important. I use a digital thermometer, inserted into the center of the tenderloin.) This will take approximately 12 to 14 minutes, depending on the size of your tenderloins.

Let pork stand 5 minutes before slicing it. This will be difficult to do, because this smells so good!

Serve with mojo sauce. I drizzle a little mojo over the couscous as well.

Enjoy getting your mojo back, you hear?

Where in the World is Susan in the Boonies?

Pin It The title of my post is meant to be sung to the tune of "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?"

(At this moment, I'd love to embed a TV promo my husband wrote and produced for 615 Music, called, "Where in the World is Matt Lauer?", but sadly, I'm unable to do that. Still, if you click that link, it should take you straight to the video.)

Virtually, I'm on the road today: the internet highway, that is. A community I follow on Twitter, Hip Homeschool Moms, invited me to guest post today, due to me dillydallying my life away one afternoon on Twitter. When I saw Meghan's tweet that they needed a guest poster this summer, I thought:

"I'm a homeschooling Mom! I have hips! I can do this!!!".

The Evidence: exhibits A...and B...

So...I've done it.

And I sure would appreciate if you'd come and give my opinions on homeschooling (and I have some!) a read. A comment would be even better!

Hip Homeschool Moms is an online community of homeschoolers, who get together to share what they're doing, resources, tips, advice and well, life. So, if you homeschool, you should definitely check out this great resource.

Here's a direct link to my post.

Brace Yourself for Teens with Invisalign

Pin It Let's talk about teens - teens who need to get braces.

 In fact, I'm going to start with my own son's need for braces.

My son is a fantastic human being: very kind, very funny, very much his own person, very popular amongst his friends, and amazingly self-confident. Only, he doesn't like his teeth, so much. They're a bit crowded. When I asked him for his thoughts about braces, he mentioned that he doesn't really want to look or sound like an idiot. (Who does?) And since a picture's worth a thousand words, I think this kind of sums up his sentiment:

He's not wild about looking like this.

But since I've been looking into getting braces for him, and I have to tell you that I'm pretty darn jazzed about what I'm reading from the fine folks at Invisalign.

 And what I've learned is exciting enough, and helpful enough, that I thought I'd share it with my readers as well. So here are some of the chief benefits that I see for my son, and for our family:

Benefit #1: No more metal mouth, like our friend, Señor Smart Donkey. No longer will a teen (or anyone who wears braces) need to feel like their braces are walking in the door before they do. Or like people are only talking to their braces. Invisalign really is practically invisible!

I'm thinking she must be done with her Invisalign treatment.

Benefit #2: You take these babies out to eat, and to clean your teeth! Now, how cool is that? No dietary restrictions, and you can maintain great oral hygiene while you're wearing braces. I think that's HUGE!

Benefit #3: The cost of Invisalign is comparable to the cost of regular braces. I was so relieved to learn that. Braces are something we've delayed for our son, due to the cost. But now that I've learned about Invisalign, I am thrilled we delayed, or we might not have even checked into using them.

Benefit #4: The aligners made specifically for teens have something called "Compliance Indicators". They are blue spots that are designed to fade with use, that show whether or not the patient is actually wearing the aligners as they are designed to be worn. In other words, a reluctant patient can't get away with sneaking them out the second they are out of the parent's sight. (Note to self: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA!!! Invest in research and development for "Compliance Indicators" in regard to studying Algebra II assignments!!!)

Benefit #5: Invisalign has not only improved their technology recently with the arrival of Invisalign G3 making it suitable for patients with more complex cases, but they have also developed a special type of aligners, specifically targeted toward the clinical needs of teens. I'd encourage you to visit their site if you'd like more specific information.

Here's how it works:

Invisalign Teen uses a series of clear, removable aligners to gradually straighten teeth. After detailed impressions are taken of the teeth, they use 3D computer imaging technology to map out the teen's treatment from start to finish. The teen wears each aligner for about 2 weeks. The aligners gradually move the teeth until they reach the targeted, designed position.

The patient will typically visit their care provider once every six weeks to ensure that treatment is progressing as planned, and to receive their next few sets of aligners.

Yes...it is a sponsored post. My very FIRST sponsored post, ever. But that should tell you how VERY excited I am about Invisalign. And I wouldn't say it if it weren't true!

Whole Wheat Bread Tutorial, Part 4: The Recipe

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The goal.

It's time to stick a fork in this tutorial, and call it done, don't you think? This is the fourth and final in a series of posts on making whole wheat bread from freshly ground whole wheat flour. The first post dealt with the grain mill itself, the second offered information in regard to the types of wheat berries available, and suitable for this recipe. The third involved lots of other incidentals on sweeteners, yeast, and flour storage.

But THIS post, my friends, I am happy to say, is perfectly suitable for anyone who is UNINTERESTED in the whole freshly milled flour thing, because the recipe I'm going to give you today can easily be used with store bought flour.

So YAAAAAY for most of the rest of you bakers and wanna be bakers out there: this is NOT a hard recipe. This CAN be done. By YOU! Take it off your bucket list, get a new bag of King Arthur Whole Wheat flour from the grocery store (and not the opened bag that's been sitting on your shelf unused for months and months, and maybe more than a year!) and give this recipe a try!!! :-D

Before we get going, though, there is one more ingredient I'd like to discuss with you: freshly ground flax seed.

I've started adding freshly ground flax seed to my whole wheat bread. There are several things I think you should know about the importance of flax seed. The dietician at the hospital told us to be sure to use flax seed to help my dear husband, the Big Bison, raise his HDL: his healthy cholesterol.  (The HDL carries the bad cholesterol out of your blood and to your liver, where your liver can dispose of it, instead of allowing it to build up in your veins and arteries.

 And women, as we approach menopause, our HDL levels tend to plummet. Bummer, huh?) Flax seed has also been recommended lately as being helpful in treating perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms. Flax seed contains both lignans and alpha linolenicic acids, about which wikipedia says:

" Lignans are capable of binding to estrogen receptors and interfering with the cancer-promoting effects of estrogen on breast tissue. Lignans are therefore being studied for their possible effects on breast, prostate and colon cancer. Lignans are also good antioxidants scavenging free radicals that are thought to play a role in many diseases."  

So, as you can imagine, my husband and I are both interested in eating more flax seed, in smoothies as well as in our whole wheat bread.  If you don't grind it, for the most part, the flax seeds will pass through your body without you gaining any nutritional benefit, except for the occasional seed that happens to get crunched by your teeth. The benefit that comes from the flax seed is found in the oil that comes from within the broken or ground seed, and the flax seeds need to be freshly milled, so that the oil doesn't have time to oxidize.

But wait a minute: and this is important. If you have a grain mill,  you can't mill flax seed in it, according to my Nutrimill manufacturer. So if you want freshly milled flax seed, do it in your blender or VitaMix or in a coffee grinder that you've cleaned out or designated for grinding spices (thanks for that tip, Melissa!).

One other reminder: for this recipe you may use whatever sweetener you prefer. If you're opposed to sugar, substitute what you like (honey, agave nectar or whatever).

I use my Kitchen Aid Mixer to knead my bread, but you can certainly knead by hand if that is your preference.

Now, on to the long promised recipe. The basic framework of this recipe came from a recipe I found on Epicurious, but I have altered it to suit my family. If you try it, I believe you'll say it was worth the wait. I've tried many recipes, but this one is the best I have ever tried, and you don't even need to add vital wheat gluten (an extra ingredient that many recipes call for to help the bread rise).

Whole Wheat Boonie Bread
Yield: 2 loaves

1 3/4 cups warm water,  (approximately 105º)
2 1/2 t. active dry yeast
1 t. sugar

1/4 c. molasses
1/4 c. warm water

5 to 6 c. whole wheat flour
1/2 c. freshly ground flax seed
2 T. sugar
2 t. salt
1/2 c. canola oil

an egg wash, made by beating one egg white with 1 t. water
2 T. old fashioned rolled oats, for sprinkling on loaves of bread

In a pyrex mixing cup, stir together the 1 3/4  c. warm water, the 1 t. sugar, and the yeast. Let stand until yeast is bubbling, about 5 minutes.

In another mixing cup or small bowl, whisk together the 1/4 c. molasses and the 1/4 c. warm water. Set aside.

In a mixer bowl, using the paddle attachment, stir together on low 2 c. of the flour, the sugar, flax seed and the salt. Pour in oil, and then the molasses and yeast mixtures. Stir well, and stop mixer to scrape bottom of bowl. Turn mixer back on low, and add enough of the remaining 3 to 4 cups of flour, 1/2 cup at a time, to form a soft dough. Turn mixer off and replace paddle attachment with dough hook. Knead dough on low for 10 minutes. Dough should have cleaned the side of the bowl, and be smooth and elastic. Shape dough into a ball.

Transfer dough to a lightly oiled bowl, and turn it to coat. Let rise, covered in plastic wrap, in a warm place, until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour. (I let mine rise in the oven with the light on.)

Punch dough down, and let rise another hour.

Preheat oven to 400º, and grease 2 loaf pans.

Divide dough ball in half. Form dough balls into oval loaves. Transfer loaves to pans, and let rise, covered with kitchen towels, 45 minutes. Brush tops of loaves lightly with egg wash, and sprinkle with oats.

Bake loaves in middle of oven 10 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 350º and bake loaves 20 to 25 minutes more, or until golden brown. Turn loaves out onto a rack to cool.

Just a few pictures, to illustrate the process.

Yeast, fully proofed and foamy. On this day, I used a dark honey to help the yeast grow.

The dough is cleaning the side of the bowl: kneading is almost done.

Dough taken from mixer and placed in bowl to rise.

Dough fully risen

Punching dough down.

Dough rising in pan.

Bread cooling on rack.

With cherry preserves. Get in my belly!!!

What about YOU???

Do you think you can do this?

Do you WANT to do this?

Do you have any remaining questions?

Would you like to link me to your recipe? (I warn you: I've tried quite a few, courtesy of my friends at the Sonlight forums.)

While You're Waiting for that Recipe...

Pin It You might as well head on over to the Fun Girls for a grand day out of shopping and wonderful food.

I may have mentioned that I went up to my friend Anne's house recently, and she took me to a wonderful neighborhood in Richmond, VA, called Carytown. Carytown was voted "Best Neighborhood to Shop In" in Richmond, Virginia. We had so much fun!

So, just to entice you a bit more...you'll see stuff like this lovely café crème:

Gosh...wouldn't that go great with a warm, fresh slice of whole wheat bread? If only I had the recipe....

Click for the big caffeine rush. You'll thank me.

I promise: the recipe for whole wheat bread that I use is coming up, soon!

Whole Wheat Bread Tutorial, Part 3: The Incidentals

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Whole Wheat Boonie Bread

This is the third post in a series of posts I've been doing regarding making whole wheat bread. The first post is here, and the second post is here.  I need to try to wrap up a few more incidental details, before I get on to what most of you are actually coming around for: the recipe. I promise: next post, OK?

I had a couple of questions from Stephanie and Anne in regard to the tops to the wheat berry buckets that I use, which are called Gamma Lids. I use them because they convert a plastic bucket into an airtight, reusable plastic container that never causes me to break a fingernail, since the lids easily screw on and off of the buckets. No prying required. They come with an adapter ring that can be installed on the bucket with a rubber mallet. I got mine when I made my first wheat berry order, from the Breadbeckers. That's why I purposefully ordered my first wheat berries in a plastic bucket. From then on out, I ordered the sacks of wheat, which are a bit cheaper per pound than ordering wheat berries in a bucket.

Next, Stephanie asked me a question in regard to how much flour you get per cup of wheat berries. As best I can tell, Stephanie, you get slightly over a cup of flour per cup of wheat berries. When I go to make this recipe for two loaves of bread, which requires 6 cups of flour, I typically grind 6 cups of wheat, which will leave me with some leftover flour. I always freeze whatever flour I have leftover, marked with the type of wheat berries it came from. Even though pastry flour might be first choice for pancakes, the hard wheat flour that I grind for bread also works just fine for pancakes, too. They might have a texture that is slightly different,  but we like them just fine!

Whole wheat flour labeled for storage in my freezer.

One more question from Stephanie that I find almost impossible to answer. Stephanie asked how long 45 or 50 lbs. of wheat berries typically last me, and Stephanie, I can only say that  varies greatly, on how much baking I'm doing that time of year. They last me a long time: months and months. But there are other families who blow through their wheat berries a lot more quickly than I do. You just have to pay attention to the level in your bucket, and your typical order time, and allot yourself enough time not to run out based on those factors. (Or...if you happen to know any prophets named Elijah...and you don't mind becoming a widow, in Nain...it can last a lot longer....) Sorry that answer isn't more helpful.

Yeast: I buy a 2 pound bag of it from Costco, (Red Star is the brand they have at my local Costco) and store it in the freezer in a zip lock bag. What I'm currently using, I keep in  a Fleischmann's yeast jar in the fridge that I refill from the freezer bag. That system has worked well for me.

When I proof my yeast, which just means dissolving the yeast in warm water and giving it 5 minutes or so to bubble to "prove" to you that it's alive, I do two things, that I think are worthwhile. First, I check the water's temperature. Water that is too hot can kill yeast. Don't kill your yeast! What has it ever done to you? (If you've ever had a yeast infection, this is not the time to bring that up!) Your water's temperature needs to be pretty close to body temperature: around 100º is about right. Yeasts need sugar to grow, so stir in either a teaspoon of sugar, or a teaspoon of flour, to give the little yeasties something to eat. And then stir your yeast into that solution. The yeasties will thank you by bubbling up nicely, proving their worth.

Sweeteners: I am not morally opposed to white sugar. I should be, I know, but I just can't quite muster the intestinal fortitude to give up all the foods I love that leaving sugar behind would require. My recipe calls for molasses, which provides a lovely dark flavor to the bread. But I have made the same recipe using honey, when I have run out of molasses, with wonderful results. One time I bought a jar of buckwheat honey that no one really liked on their toast, because they thought it was too dark. But I used up the rest of the jar in making this recipe for bread, and it worked great. I'm sure you could use agave nectar, or maple syrup, or whatever sweetener you prefer: even sugar, if you're feeling rebellious. :-D

Not exactly the Bread of Life...but not bad....

Ask me any other questions you'd like, or share with me your baking experience, too. I am always eager to grow and learn! Next post? The recipe!

Whole Wheat Bread Tutorial, Part 2: Wheat Berries

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Melted butter....mmm......

 This post is part 2 in a series I am working on that give the basics of making whole wheat bread. Part 1 can be found here.

Just so you know: it is killing me to write this post this morning.

Why?



I'm out of bread.

It's the little ironies in life that are sometimes the most delicious. Or, the most tortuous. But right now, my mouth has pooled with saliva from looking at that picture, and there's nothing to be done about it. Until my current batch of whole wheat bread, that is rising as we speak, gets baked.

OK, let's get the information show on the road.

Let's say that you've made the decision that you want to grind your own wheat berries. There are many types of wheat berries out there. What kind is right for you?

First, here are a few important facts.

There are two basic types of wheat berries: hard, and soft. Whodathunk? Wheat berries are classified as hard and soft based on the amount of protein in the flour. Hard wheat has more protein, and soft wheat has less. The more protein a flour has, the more potential it has to make gluten. Gluten is a web of proteins that forms when flour and water mix. Think of them as being the chewing gum element in your bread. Consider for a moment the various types of breads you've tried in your life. The chewy or springier types of bread had a gluten that had been well developed. Gluten helps bread rise. That's why we knead bread: to facilitate the formation of the gluten network in the dough. Many people object to whole wheat bread due to its density. Whole wheat bread that is heavy and dense has not developed much gluten. Got it?

Just to help you stick this fact into your brain, I'll remind you that Southern cooks who make biscuits swear by what flour? White Lily. And it's really true: White Lily makes a fabulous biscuit. Why is that? Because White Lily is made from a softer wheat flour. It's lower in protein. The biscuits it makes are tender, because it doesn't have as many proteins available to make those chewy strings of gluten. Get it?

So, what kind of wheat berries are right for you? What kind of wheat berries do you want for making a great loaf of whole wheat bread?

Well, through experimentation, I have found that I like to have three varieties of wheat berry on hand, available for me to cook with. I like a hard red, a hard white, and a soft white.

The hard red wheat berry has a darker, nutty flavor. From time to time, I'm in the mood for a darker denser bread, and I'll make a loaf out of nothing but hard red flour. Hard white is the flour of choice for some families, but I find it to be lacking in character, all by itself. It will produce a loaf that rises nicely, with less of the heavier flavor that is associated with hard red flour. All by itself, though, it's a little too "vanilla" for me. My favorite combination when I am making a loaf of bread is half hard red wheat berries, and half hard white.

Soft white wheat berries are lower in protein. The flour ground from them is sometimes known as "pastry flour". I order soft white wheat berries to make flour for anything I'm baking that doesn't need a high rise: pancakes, waffles, tortillas, biscuits, pita bread, muffins, quick breads or cookies. It's a finer, more delicate flour.

I like to buy Wheat Montana Farms wheat berries. Their quality has never let me down. The berries I have received from them have always been clean: no pests, and no rocks. The varieties I order from them are Bronze Chief (that's the hard red), Prairie Gold (hard white), and a soft white.

There are a couple of ways I've found to get wheat berries, and I'll share them both with you. You may know of yet other ways, and if you'd like to share those in the comments, my readers and I would be most appreciative! If the tip you include is helpful enough for the whole class, I'll include it in the next part.

The problem with ordering wheat berries is that the price you run into when you first google "wheat berries" can be a little deceptive. I'll show you.

Even though the price of these lovely Prairie Gold wheat berries is $43.52, which isn't a bad price, by the time you add in shipping and handling charges, your bill becomes $92.22. Yup: that's right. The shipping and handling charge ($48.70) exceeds the cost of the actual wheat berries themselves. What's a baker to do? (And no, forward thinkers, it's NOT eligible for Amazon Prime's free shipping.)

Well, at least I can tell you what I've done. First, you can order your wheat berries through a local food co-op. There are two ways you can approach this, both of which I've done. The first would be by word of mouth: ask any friend you might have who bakes bread or who you know makes an effort to eat locally grown food. Many food co-ops make bulk orders of wheat berries, which will substantially reduce your shipping. I found out about a local food co-op through the Girl Scout troop my daughter and I participate in, and purchased my wheat berries from them several times. The downside of that for me was that I had to drive an hour to pick them up. But then, I do live in the Boonies. Yesterday, while preparing Part 1 of this tutorial, I googled wheat berries and the name of the nearest big city to me and discovered a food co-op that orders wheat berries that is only a half hour away. Much more bearable! So, I'd suggest that you give either of those methods of searching a try.

Here's one more way I have handled obtaining wheat berries, that might encourage you to do a bit of outside the box thinking. We were planning a drive to Georgia to attend a University of Georgia football game, which I knew would take me near me a regional bread making nirvana, The Breadbeckers, Inc.  I talked my dear husband, The Big Bison, into making a little detour on our trip, so we ourselves handled the shipping, since we were already making the trip. While we picked up a nifty little loaf pan for baking bread in that I like very much. They have every other supply you could need as well, from appliances like mills and mixers, to other grains, yeast, honey and other sweeteners. So check out their store in case your local co-op doesn't supply everything you need. Their prices are competitive, and sometimes better than what you'll find elsewhere. Just don't forget to figure in the shipping if you're not planning a trip  there.

So, here's what you can expect if you order a 50 lb. sack of wheat berries through your co-op, from Wheat Montana.

50 lb. sack of Bronze Chief (hard red) wheat berries.

 Here's the bucket of wheat berries that we picked up at the Breadbecker's store: take note of the lid. I'll talk about that in a moment.

45 lb. bucket of Prairie Gold .

Even though I trust Wheat Montana's product, I always freeze my wheat berries for 24 hours before I store them: trust and verify, right? Even if Wheat Montana produces a clean product, they could pick up insects in the truck ride across the country.

Because Susan in the Boonies is anti-critter-infested-food.

So, I scoop the wheat berries into a labled ziplock, and stick them in the freezer for a day before I dump them in my tall bucket with a gamma lid. What's a gamma lid, you ask?

 

Gamma lid on top of bucket.

I do recommend you order your wheat berries in buckets, at least the first time, until you have three (or the number of varieties of grains you plan to use) buckets. Then buy the same number of gamma lids, which will allow you to nicely reseal your wheat berries. Yes, Virginia, you can store these things for years and years. I read somewhere they found wheat berries that had been stored in a pyramid with somebody Egyptian for a couple of thousand years, and they could still be ground into flour. But if you seal them up in one of these buckets, and they've gone into those buckets with no critters, they will come out fresh as the day they went in, with no critters. I keep my three buckets on the floor of my pantry, under the shelves. They're out of my way, but near enough that I can get to them easily when I want to.

This is everything I wanted someone to explain to me when I was starting out, but I could never find it laid out like I wanted it. Sure hope this helps you out!

More info in my next post as well. In the meantime, I'd love to hear from you! What questions do you have? What do you do differently? What helpful resources have you found?

Whole Wheat Bread Tutorial, Part 1: The Grain Mill

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Behold the Whole Grain Goodness: click for bigger goodness.

About ten years ago, when I was participating a lot on the Sonlight forums, some women there piqued my interest in making my own whole wheat bread. Specifically, I did a lot of research into whole grains, and grinding my own whole grain flours. I learned a lot, and here it is ten years later, and it wasn't just a passing fad for me. I am not a health food nut, by ANY stretch of the imagination. One look at my recipe titles will reveal that clearly. But I do believe in good tasting food, and I do believe in making food choices that will enhance your health AND taste fantastic at the same time. Since I'm making more whole wheat bread these days, following my husband's heart attack and his need to eat healthier, and since my whole wheat bread tastes better than anybody else's whole wheat bread that I've ever tried, I thought I would share my recipe with you, as well as what I've learned about grinding my own whole grain flours.

Wheat Berries before grinding.

If you decide you want to start baking your own whole wheat bread, you really need to start with an excellent whole grain flour. Back at the dawn of the industrial age, when the power of the steam engine was harnessed to grindstones, flour mills discovered they could produce huge quantities of flour with great efficiency. The problem was that there are fatty acids in the wheat germ that start to oxidize the moment they are exposed to oxygen, and flour that contains the wheat germ tend to go rancid, quickly. Depending on the climate where the flour is stored, whole wheat flour goes rancid within 6 to 9 months. That's why flour companies started pushing white flour long ago: remove the wheat germ from the flour, and you remove that oil that tends to go rancid, and you'll produce a product, white flour, that has a much longer shelf life.

When I first started making my own whole wheat bread, I used King Arthur flour. I think, of all the flours that are out there in the grocery store, King Arthur is an excellent choice.  You can make delicious whole grain items with King Arthur flour. In fact, if you're wanting to start experimenting with baking with whole grains, that's a great way to start. Because you might try it, and discover that you just don't think you have the time or patience for it. So, no shame whatsoever in starting out with an excellent store bought flour like King Arthur: it's what I did. (King Arthur has a whole grain cookbook that I have borrowed from the library on several occasions to try out some of their recipes. They also have a really great website. I recommend both highly as excellent resources for learning more about using whole grains!)

My two toned ten year old Nutrimill.

After looking at several different types of flour mills, I settled on the Nutrimill. Here are some of my reasons. There are hand mills out there, if you're trying to do this thing on the cheap. My best advice? Do not go with a hand-cranked mill.  When I was first investigating this, I went to a friend's house, who had a hand cranked mill. She made her kids take turns turning the crank. Talk about tedious!!! My kids would HATE me if I made them do that, or at least, I'd get enough resistance from them that I'd give up trying to make them do it, and wouldn't want to have to do it myself: it takes way too much time. Suck it up, save your pennies, and buy an electric mill.

The Nutrimill turned out to be a great choice. Another grain mill that some of my internet friends were using, the WhisperMill,  has gone out of business since then.  I had one problem with my Nutrimill, about 5 years after we bought it. I called the folks who manufacture it, spoke to a REAL HUMAN BEING who actually repairs the machines himself, and he told me to ship the part that was broken to him. They repaired it, free of charge. So, I effectively got a whole new Nutrimill 5 years into its usage. I am way beyond satisfied with that level of customer service. I now have a two-tone Nutrimill, as you'll see in the photos, because they were using a different grade of plastic 10 years ago, but I'm more than happy with it.

Freshly milled whole wheat flour.

What's the difference between store bought King Arthur flour, and my own freshly milled flour? There's a difference in volume, and in flavor. The flour I mill at home is much more fluffy, because it hasn't had time to settle in a package. And the flavor is very different indeed. Freshly milled flour has no bitterness at all in taste. The oil hasn't had a chance to oxidize. It's sweeter; nuttier. I heart my own freshly milled flour. To prove it to yourself, if you know someone who has their own flour mill, buy around six cups of  wheat berries from a health food store, and ask your friend to grind your berries for you. Then, bake with it yourself: bake a recipe using King Arthur flour, and the same recipe using your own freshly ground flour, and taste the difference! I am confident that experiment will convince you of the superiority in flavor of freshly ground flour. It convinced me, and my husband.

I'll have lots more info in the days to come. Until then, if you have any questions, please ask! I'll take my very best shot at answering them.